How to recognize a good man

Unless the Almighty Father splits open the sky and physically places a good man in front of you, it is virtually impossible to see a man and know whether he is “good” or not.  You also have to have a clear definition in your mind and heart about what “good” truly means to you. 

To some good means that he pays your bills for you and gets your hair “did” every week.  To others it means a man who comes home after work, spends quality time with you, and complements you on your beauty when you think you’re not looking your best.  There are thousands of ways to define “good”, you just have to decipher which combination works best for you.

How to find a good man    

Let me start by saying this first:  If you are a club going woman, the odds of you hooking up with a club going man are pretty damn good.  If this is not what you want in a man…STOP GOING TO THE DAMN CLUB!!!!!  Have you ever heard the saying “you can’t make a ho a housewife”?  Well, that pertains to men too (with the exception of the whole house "wife" thing, but you get my drift).  Try thinking outside the box for a change. 

Finding a good man is like finding a rare and precious antique.  You have to sometimes look in the most unlikely of places.  If you want an intellectual, try going to the place where intellectuals go (libraries, schools, bookstores, etc).  If you want a guy that’s an athlete, dust off the Bally’s card and go hit the gym.  I like intelligent women and it just so happens that I met my wife in a bookstore.  I’m not saying that every time will be a winner, all I’m say is broaden you horizons and you might be surprised at what you’ll find. 

Oh yeah, one more thing, remember to be honest with yourself about what you want in a man.  If you don’t know who you are and what you want, how will you recognize it when you see it?

How to get a good man 

In order to get a good man, you have to be a good woman.  For those that don’t know, the first step in being a good woman is to love and respect yourself while at the same time, never settling for less. 

I remember when I was single and looking for a good mate, I would always manage to meet these really sweet, involved women who were stuck in these dead end relationships.  They would be involved with these no good men who, for whatever reason, they loved more than they loved themselves.  I’ve even had friends and relatives in the same situation.  Whenever we would engage in conversation I would ask them, “Why do YOU stay with this person if you are so unhappy?”  Without fail, the first thing out of their mouth would always start with “because he…” 

Now if someone asks YOU about your bad relationship and you begin your reply with “well”, “but” or “because he” your focus is headed in the wrong direction.  Think of it like this; to get a good job you have to love you and have enough confidence in your capabilities to know what you want when you walk into that dream interview.  You also have to know what you are willing to accept and not accept before you hire on, right?  So why not apply this same concept to your relationships?  I mean if it’s good enough for your livelihood shouldn’t it be good enough for you love life? 

To put it in a nutshell, know YOU, love YOU and respect YOU first, then getting a good man should be a breeze.

How to keep a good man 

Most men are very simple creatures.  We don’t require a whole lot, but the little we do require, we like to have without drama.  The main key in keeping a good man is to know the man you plan to keep.  If there are certain things that you know your man loves, don’t pretend to be cool with them until you get serious and settle down, then decide that you want him to stop doing them.  That is one of the quickest ways to get on your man's bad side.  Now, like most men in my age group, I love video games and my wife knows this.  So, as long as while I’m playing I don’t completely detach myself from the rest of the world for too long, she doesn’t sweat me about it.  To sum it up I’ll say this, the same thing you did to get him should be the same thing you are willing to do to keep him.  That’s the same thing you tell us…right?